He also highlights the danger of relational isolation—when spouses stop seeking counsel and try to handle problems alone. Stuart reminds couples that asking for help isn’t failure; it’s wisdom. By addressing these pitfalls head‐on, he equips married readers to keep growing rather than drifting apart. Prosecutors allege that between 2023 and 2025, Lavie used dating apps to cultivate relationships with wealthy older men and younger women across Los Angeles County, including in Beverly Hills and West Hollywood. Last, I would say do all of this with a group of people who love you and who love God as much as you do.
So, for a large minority of young adults, marriage may be a more proximate aspiration than the average marital salience score would suggest. If our only goal is to promote marital stability, then a falling marriage rate, with couples who possess riskier divorce profiles opting out, is not a concern. It is hard to celebrate stronger marriages when fewer and fewer young people are entering them. Single, Dating, Engaged, Married received mostly positive reviews, praised for its biblical approach to relationships and practical advice. Readers appreciated Stuart’s insights on each relationship stage and his use of scripture.
Successful Marriages Pursue A Shared Mission
Interestingly, the biggest barrier to dating they expressed was not enough money, endorsed by more than half (52%) of respondents. This was more so for men (58%), but it was noteworthy for women, as well (46%). Dating for contemporary young adults has a price tag, and they feel the pinch. Money concerns are not just future-abstract in the sense of reaching a certain financial status to be able to marry; they are current-tangible about affording actual dates to explore serious relationships. (Younger and older respondents were not significantly different on this item.) Nearly half (46%) reported that they would like to be married now.
Future Outlook
Some found it particularly helpful for singles and those considering marriage. However, a few critics felt it was too stereotypical or simplistic in its gender portrayals and theology. Overall, many readers recommended it as a valuable resource for Christians navigating relationships, though some suggested it may be most suitable for younger audiences or new believers.
The Jesus Bible Study Series
He recommends asking direct questions about faith, family background, and future goals. By treating dating as an investigative season, you gain clarity about potential partnership and avoid painful surprises during engagement. Dating frequency may be low, but young adults seem to want it for emotional connection, forming serious relationships, and enjoying romantic experiences.
Professional and lay relationship educators need to pay more attention to this educational void for young adults. Here are several concrete recommendations for effective dating skills education. Ultimately, Stuart’s ideas encourage a cultural shift toward intentionality.
Deliver to him all the longings of your heart, knowing he cares deeply about you. Then turn your attention to the most beautiful, redemptive, life-giving, God-glorifying thoughts you can think and activities you can engage in. I would even say consider changing the verb from “waiting” to “attacking”! Seize the benefits that singleness offers, namely freedom and time, and leverage them to do the most good in the world. Don’t underestimate the sense of inner peace that can be experienced when you are living a life that is filled with serving others in Jesus’ name. I wrote this book out of a genuine love for the young men and women I have had the privilege to live and minister among for the last decade.
In the first season—being single—Stuart emphasizes self-awareness and spiritual growth. By investing in community, serving others, and nurturing your gifts, you build a solid foundation for future relationships. You learn emotional maturity here, discovering how to handle loneliness without turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
- Overall, many readers recommended it as a valuable resource for Christians navigating relationships, though some suggested it may be most suitable for younger audiences or new believers.
- Numerous scholars have explored why fewer young adults are marrying.
- Then turn your attention to the most beautiful, redemptive, life-giving, God-glorifying thoughts you can think and activities you can engage in.
- Motivated young adults can learn dating skills, how to approach partners they are interested in, how to improve their ability to make smart dating choices, and how to improve their general communication skills for dating.
For 24–26-year-olds, their average expected age to marry was almost 30 for women and almost 32 for men. For 27–29-year-olds, it was 33 for women and 34 for men; for 30–32-year-olds, it was 36 for women and 37 for men. And for the oldest respondents (33–35), the average expected age to marry was about 39 for both women and men.
Instead of rushing to fill an emotional void, singles can invest time in community involvement, mentorship, and exploring their calling. This period allows for honest reflection on past relationship patterns, helping to avoid repeating mistakes later on. Entering marriage, the final season, Stuart underscores its covenantal nature. Marriage isn’t a contract you break if you change your mind; it’s a promise you uphold through seasons of joy and hardship. He encourages newlyweds to invest in regular check-ins, both emotional and spiritual, to keep their relationship healthy.
Meanwhile, Paul’s singleness in 1 Corinthians becomes a model for devotion without distraction.By linking real‐world stories to Scripture, Stuart keeps the advice relatable and grounded. Readers see how ancient truths speak into modern dilemmas, offering both spiritual depth and practical direction. He also highlights the importance of setting realistic expectations about married life’s joys and struggles. By using vivid anecdotes of single friends who discovered new passions or mentored younger believers, he shows how this time can be rich and fulfilling.
With this temporal distance, it will be hard to create a stronger connection between the present act of dating and the future expectation of marriage for young adults. To some extent, perhaps we don’t need to be overly anxious about this. Still, it would be wise for relationship educators, as they build learning opportunities for healthy dating, not to present dating in maritally neutral terms. The institution of marriage needs a robust dating system to bring couples to the altar. And recall our findings that, regardless of age, nearly half of young adults say they would like to be married now.
By focusing on purpose instead of a partner, you learn patience and self-discipline. Ben Stuart’s Single, Dating, Engaged, Married guides readers through intentional relationship stages. He emphasizes self-growth in singleness, purpose in dating, covenant in marriage, and community support. His model offers practical steps to build lasting, resilient unions. Ben Stuart is the pastor of Passion City Church in Washington D.C. He previously served as executive director of Breakaway Ministries, a popular Bible study at Texas A&M University, for eleven years. Stuart holds a master’s degree in historical theology from Dallas Theological Seminary.
You want a man who will be patient, kind, courageous, sacrificial, generous, bold and gracious like Jesus. Discover how to embrace God’s design, invest your life in what matters most, and find meaning in whatever season of life you’re in. Clearly, these young adults could use a boost in “dating resilience.” Breakups are an inevitable part of dating. Being able to absorb the losses and transmute them into productive learning is a fundamental dating skill. Couples who pursue a shared mission experience deeper connection and fulfillment in their marriage.
There is a marital-expectations vs. dating-skills gap for most young adults today. How can we grow our way out of this dating recession if we want to increase the chances that young adults will form serious relationships that may lead to healthy marriages? We need a concerted effort to teach young adults healthy dating skills, something that receives little attention from the general culture or even the relationship education field. These more traditional purposes for dating are aimed at building committed romantic relationships and learning how to facilitate personal growth in those relationships. While dating frequency may be low, most young adults seem to yearn for the connection of serious dating and marriage relationships.
Only about 30% of young adults reported that they are dating, either casually or exclusively. When asked how often they were dating, only 31% of young adults – a quarter of women (26%) and a little more than a third of men (36%) – reported that they were active daters (dating once a month or more). Nearly three-quarters of women (74%) and nearly two-thirds of men (64%) in our survey reported they had not dated or dated only a few times in the last year. These numbers are noteworthy given that about half (51%) of the young adults in our national survey expressed interest in starting a relationship. This stage allows individuals to focus on personal growth, spiritual development, and service to others without the responsibilities of a romantic relationship. Community also brings celebration and support during joy and struggle.
Like sailing across an ocean, relationships require navigating uncertain waters with principles rather than rigid steps. Community functions as both safety net and sounding board in Single, Dating, Engaged, Married. Stuart highlights stories of friends who spoke truth in love when a dating relationship veered off course. He urges readers to assemble a small team—mentors, close peers, and perhaps an older couple—to pray with you and hold you accountable.Community also brings celebration and support during joy and struggle. Whether you’re wrestling with singleness, planning an engagement, or weathering marital storms, outside voices remind you of perspective beyond your own. Stuart argues that no relationship should happen in a vacuum; thriving love grows best in shared life.
On a more optimistic note, only a small percentage of young men and women report that fear of commitment theamoredate.com/ or serious relationships are dating barriers, contradicting a common cultural notion about young adults today. This gap calls for a concerted effort to teach young adults healthy dating skills, something that receives little attention from the general culture or even the relationship education field. They want to build real human connections, form serious relationships, explore what they want in a future long-term partner, and desire the personal growth that comes from forming serious romantic relationships. And contrary to common beliefs, most are not afraid of commitment or losing personal freedom, and few fear that dating will interfere with their educational and career plans. Our young adults need effective road maps that guide them to and through the dating experiences that will connect their marital expectations to actual unions. Moreover, we acknowledge that our focus here has been on individual behavior and personal experiences of dating.
